Rita Skeeter Interviews Past and Present
by The Reviewer
Summary: What if Rita Skeeter had interviewed Snape, D Malfoy, MWPP and others? New Chap: The MWPP article and the Marauders' reactions.
1. The Snape Interview

AN: What if Skeeter interviewed Snape like Harry suggested? Well here it is! I hope no one's done this before, I didn't copy off anyone. Anything written _like this is Snape **thinking. **_

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me :( Sad but true my friends.

Dedicated: To the Energizer Bunny ^_^ been keeping my walkman running since 1995

**Rita Skeeter Interviews Severus Snape**

            Rita Skeeter crawled down the dark, dungeon hallway in her beetle form. She had not yet been banned from the grounds but she still wished to remain out of sight in case something or someone interesting came along. That someone turned the corner not a minute later: Severus Snape. Skeeter flapped her insect wings in excitement; this could be her next big article. Though in her opinion it would be hard to top the one she had done on the four Hogwart's Champions.  She began to crawl along the wall after her prey, mentally running over anything dirty about him she might already have on him. Snape entered is office a moment later and the only way she could get in is if he invited her in. 

            She pounded on the door.

            "Enter."

            "Hello Professor, might I have a word?"

            "No. I'm busy." He didn't like reporters. They were horrible, he remember his trail and all the press the Deatheaters (both those that had been caught and those who hadn't) had received. Beside he knew Skeeter never wrote anything good though he had had a good chuckle over some of the comments written in her last article about Potter. 

            "This won't take long. What are you busy with?" She took the seat on the other side of the desk without being invited and pulled out her famous Quick-Quotes Quill. 

            "Marking." 

_"Then I must go finalize my plans with Lucius Malfoy on overthrowing the Ministry of Magic, staring at my walls..." _

"Now leave me be."

            "What would you say about the teacher caught at Calmanca school sexually abusing some students?" she remembered Snape now. He had been on trial for being a Deatheater but was one of those that had been let off the hook. She couldn't remember the exact details.

            "I'd say that a certain reporter, who shall remain anonymous, is desperate for an interview to bring that up." He recognized the threat though and allowed her to continue. He didn't need rumors like that floating around.

            "Lovely. So let's jump right in then." 

_"Professors and Slytherin children first."___

            "Do you agree with what everyone has been saying about the fourth champion?"

            _"I'm fairly certain I'm going to need a few different adjectives."_

            "Please enlighten me to what "**everyone" has been saying."**

            "It was in my last article-"

            "The problem with your stories is that I'm finished reading long before you are finished writing." Snape interrupted. She had seen the man around and was familiar with his less then sunny disposition as a result she decided it was best to ignore any sarcastic remarks. 

            "That he cheated his way into Triward Tournament."

            "It's a certainty." Snape couldn't resist.

            "Do you think he will cheat in the tournament?"

            "I think they will all cheat at sometime or another."

            "So how would you say your relationship with "The-boy-who-lived" is?

            "What I think of him is returned twice over I'm sure."

"So your relationship is good then." She sounded slightly disappointed.

_"I never said that."  He smiled softly to himself._

 "Has he ever embarrassed Hogwarts? Played up in classes?"

_"Depends who you ask."_

"Never that anyone's been able to prove." It was almost causing him physical pain but it had to be done. 

"Could you elaborate on that?" 

"There's nothing more to say." Skeeter was getting a little annoyed at the vague answers, perhaps if she got a bit more personal.  

            "Potions is a challenging subject. Could you perhaps tell me how you became interested in it?"

            "I could."

_"But I'm not going to." There was a few moments of silence._

            "Do you have a love in your life?" Maybe she could throw him off balance. People loved talking about themselves.

            "Solitude."

            She gave him a bright smile, "I meant a person."

            "If a Dementor were to walk in here and drag me off to Azkaban in caveman style right now I would pronounce my undying love to it in poetic form." She got the hint

            "Champions have died in the past. What sorts of precautions have been taken to this year? And do you think there will be any problems?"

            _"Me…Dumbledore."_

            "I'm not at the liberty to answer your first question and we can only hope."

            "Of course with Dumbledore here I'm sure that everyone is very confident that things will go smoothly. He obviously seems to trust his staff a great deal." She had completely missed his meaning.

            "Yes he does." This was said a little stiffly.

_            "Too much."_

"Do you have any criticism about the way Dumbledore runs this school?"

_"Would you like the short or the long list?"_

            "I believe I need to speak to him about the wards around the perimeter if you got through." She ignored this.__

            "Will you, as a staff member, be playing a role in this tournament?"

            "Not directly."

            _"Thank God."_

            "Will any of the other Professors?" 

            "Again I'm not at the liberty to discuss that." Irritated.

            "Has your past ever been an issue?" She was liking the man less and less.

            "No." This was said sharply.

            "_Yes they do leave me unsupervised with children. Only five have disappeared off the face of the Earth, nothing to concern yourself with."_

            "You were placed on trail for being a Deatheater?"

            "_No for being their mascot __and for murdering a few well known reporters." His eyes narrowed dangerously. Even Skeeter fidgeted slightly under that gaze. _

            "I don't think you need me to confirm that for you."

            "Um…well thank you for you time Professor I enjoyed it but I must be going."   "I'm not going to cry." He said still glaring.

            Back in her bug form she scurried down the hall. She had to tell them to stop the presses for a new front page. Once it was punched up a bit, she thought her headline should perhaps be something like: **"Is There a Deatheater in the House?" That sounded nice, a real attention grabber.**** Snape muttered an incantation under his breath and recording spell stopped. Just in case the Headmaster had any complications.**

            **The End**

AN: I tried to keep everyone in character, I hope I succeeded. Want another interview? If so then leave me a review and tell me who you would like Rita to interview next. It can be anyone from the Harry Potter series. If you want, include some questions you would like answered. I'll do my best. Or you can tell me how much it sucked :p I don't care; knock yourself out. ^_~


	2. The Snape Article

AN: Ok thanks to popular demand here is the article and the repercussions of it. Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to review, it made me smile. ^_^

Disclaimer: Last time I write it-**Nothing belongs to me, I'm borrowing them from JK and whoever else has rights to Harry Potter. Please don't sue; it wouldn't be worth your time and energy anyway…believe me.**

Dedication: My Microsoft Word. Seen me through my best and worst.

**Rita Skeeter Interviews Severus Snape**

**Part 2: The Article**

The next morning dawned a dark and rainy; seemingly a bad omen for the day to come for the Potions Master, yet he did not know it. After negotiating his body into climbing out of bed and into his clothes (he usually showered at night if he did at all) he began to make the trip down to the Great Hall where he would live through one of the longest days of his life. 

****

Dead silence commenced as soon as he stepped into the room, this could only be a bad thing. He pretended not to notice it, but resolved to talk to Dumbledore about it as soon as breakfast was over before his first class. As he sat down his co-workers gave him dark looks (well darker then usual) this did nothing to calm him down. He ran over a list of things he had down lately which might have ticked off the rest of the staff; nothing significant came to mind.

"Severus? A word please." Dumbledore called. Snape got up, his senses on full alert.

"Have you seen the paper yet?" Snape shook his head, all too well remembering his interview with Skeeter the night before. A small lump had formed in his stomach. Dumbledore handed him the latest without comment.

**IS THERE A DEATHEATER IN THE HOUSE?**

            **Hogwarts****School**** of Witch Craft and Wizardry is reputed to be one of the best magical schools in the world. Yet this Daily Prophet reporter has unearthed an alarming fact. Albus Dumbledore, trusting Headmaster of Hogwarts, has hired an ex-Deatheater to teach the children in his care the dangerous art of potions making. Yes folks; lurking deep in the dungeons of Hogwarts is an ex-Deatheater by the name of Severus Snape. He has long black, greasy hair, tall, early thirties, with frightening black eyes. I approached the man yesterday for an interview, he was more then happy to comply.  **

**            It was found that among the students he teaches is young Harry Potter. Needless to say it may come as a surprise that Mr. Potter has befriended this dark wizard. Yet is there something more going on here? When asked about his feelings regarding the boy Professor Snape said, "_Whatever I feel for him is returned two times over I'm sure." He also had other disturbing opinions._**

**Quote: _"Do you believe Harry Potter cheated his way into the Tournament?"_**

**Snape****: _"It is a certainty." Could the good Professor have perhaps aided the rebellious young wizard in entering this dangerous game. He most definitely has the power to. It is unquestionable that the governors of Hogwarts will want to look into this. During the interview he was confronted about his trail and claims against him being a Deatheater; he did not deny it. Instead he said in a silky voice filled with malicious, __"No one's been able to prove anything." When I asked him to elaborate he reached across the table, took my hand, grinning nastily, __"There's nothing more to say."_**

**            This reporter was able to get a hold of a few of his students for comments. They wished to remain anonymous but from them it was found that as is to be expected over ¾ of the school fear and hate their professor:**

**_"At the dueling club in my Second Year he blasted another teacher across the stage and into a wall!"_**

**"_He's always sneaking around at night. We think he's hiding something but we never say anything."  _**

**It is estimated that the number is higher but it seems that the students in his own house (Slytherin) are too terrified to speak against him. One can only speculate as to what frightening things he does to keep his pupils in line. Without a doubt parents and the Ministry of Magic will want to launch an investigation that will prove fruitful and the students can continue their studies without this terrorizing shadow known as Professor Severus Snape lurking around the next corner.**

Snape stood still with his mouth open for a moment. That **bitch! **

"Headmaster I can explain this."

"I know you can." Snape took a little comfort in the fact that at least Dumbledore wasn't going to fire him. Dumbledore was well aware of what Skeeter was like. Nevertheless Snape reached into his pocket and produced a small glass globe. After a small incantation voices replaced the silence around them:

_"Enter."_

_ "Hello Professor, might I have a word?_

_"No. I'm busy…" _

The Headmaster nodded after the globe had exhausted itself. 

"That's about what I expected. Well don't concern yourself too much with it Severus, now I think you have a class to teach."

"Yes." Snape pocketed the globe once more. Dumbledore was right; he did have a class to teach but first he was going to make a quick stop at the owlery.

*******

*In the busy Ministry of Magic Office*

Rita Skeeter was happily looking over her latest article. The Ministry was preparing to send some people over now to examine the Snape character; she could hear snatches of the conversation on the other side of the door. She was just contemplating going home and going to sleep (she had been up most of the night) when an owl landed in front of her just as the officials were walking out. In the owl's beak was what could only be a howler. Before she could grab it and run away, it burst out in full volume. Her and Snape's voices could be heard all through the Ministry of Magic offices it seemed. People stopped what they were doing to listen:

 _"Enter."_

_ "Hello Professor, might I have a word?_

_"No. I'm busy…" _

After the howler had had its say no one moved for a minute absorbing the information. Until:

"Ms. Skeeter, could I see you in my office please." With a slight feeling a doom Skeeter stood up from the chair she had just occupied; all fantasies of sleeping any time in the near future forgotten. This was **not going to slow her down though, a mere complication. She'd just have to dig up something extra good on her superior was all.**

**End of the Professor Severus Snape interview**

AN: So how did you all like that? Eh, it was ok in my opinion. I would have done a potions class and tried but it didn't come off very well so I removed it. Since people seem to want it and I want to write it I'll be doing some more interviews. No particular order really, just what's easiest for me at the moment. Here's the list of people you want interviewed and the order I'm going to do them in:

**Draco**** Malfoy**

**James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew (back when they were all teenagers)**

**Voldemort******

**Lucius**** Malfoy (this one had questions with it)**

**Moody**

There were some other ones requested and I'll still do them (expect maybe Dumbledore cause he's really hard) but I didn't want to get too ahead of myself. So don't forget you can ask questions still about these people and if you want me to interview anyone else please tell me. Love ya all.

**_The Reviewer_**


	3. The Draco Malfoy Interivew

**AN: Ok and now we have Draco Malfoy's interview. It would have been a little easier if I had some questions to answer cause then I would know what people wanted to see. Oh well, your loss ^_~  I really so hope he's in character. I picked the time in the third book after the hippogriff attack. Have fun as always kids!**

**Disclaimer: See chapter one**

**Dedication: Reese Bites…the best candy out there!**

****

**Rita Skeeter interviews Draco Malfoy**

            Silently Rita Skeeter made her way through the busy lane of Hogsmeade. All the Hogwart's students had just recently been released from the confines of the castle and grounds and were taking full advantage of their new found freedom by clogging up the streets with their antics. This, however, was not what had the prying reporter's ire up. It was the fact that she could not locate the reason she was even braving these crowds in the first place: Draco Malfoy. A short time ago the Malfoy kid had been attacked by a Hippogriff in his Care of Magical Creatures class. His Father was now pulling strings at the Ministry to try to get the beast terminated. As usual Skeeter was first on the scene and desired an interview with the victim himself. Her accomplice in crim…journalism, Bozo, was on the other side of town also searching. She decided to try the Three Broomsticks next, one of the biggest local hangouts for Hogwart's students.

            Inside all was not quiet but at least peaceful and to make her day, she spotted her prey sitting at a table at the back with two of his friends. Smoothly she slipped through the crowd, unnoticed, over to them.

            "Hello Mr. Malfoy, how lovely to see you." She beamed at him. He looked up at her looking politely puzzled, "Do I know you?"

            "I'm Rita Skeeter." His face cleared of any doubt.

            "Oh yes, you write for the Daily Prophet." Skeeter's smile only managed to grow wider, she really wished Bozo would show up with the camera but she wasn't going to go hunt him down and risk the chance of Draco escaping. 

            "Lovely, you know who I am. Actually I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions for an article I'm writing about your unfortunate incident with the mad hippogriff." The boy's face lit up at once. He promptly told his two large friends to beat it. Skeeter couldn't say she was disappointed. 

            "Lovely, now…before we get into that perhaps we could gather a bit of background information on you. After all I already have the essential recounts of what happened and I thought it would be charming to have some details on you."

            "All right." Though Skeeter didn't notice Draco was a bit more guarded now, he had been well trained on what to say and what not to when asked questions about his home life.

            "For starters…I hear you play seeker on the Slytherin Quidditch team."

            "Yeah. Father bought our team some Nimbus 2000s too." He relaxed a little.

            "How lovely, I'm sure they're a great help." Draco pouted just a little at the memory of his fist game playing on them, being horribly beaten Harry Potter. Then he pushed it from his mind, someway somewhere that game had been unfair! That was the only way they could have won. 

            "Yes."

            "Speaking of your Father, perhaps you would like to have a say about the rumors that are spreading around about him?"

            "What rumors?" Draco looked curious and a little uneasy at the same time.

            "About how he's deep into the Dark Arts. In fact your manor was raided 2 years ago wasn't it? Some very interesting objects were found under the drawing room floor."

            "If you consider old books and pottery interesting." He crossed his arms over his chest. It was the truth in a way.

            "But why would your Father hide them then?"

            _"Because he's a special agent for a secret organization dedicated to protecting the Earth from the scum of the universe. At the moment they're plotting how to smuggle weaponry and explosives across the __Timbuktu__ border and in fact those old pots contain secret hidden codes."_

"Probably because most people would take the usual narrow minded view about the whole thing; I think it's ridiculous."

"Has your Father ever hurt you in any way?" once again she tried to fall back on the old tactic of surprising people.

"He's my Father!"

"I know but…uh…how about your Mother? She's quite the queen of the social scene isn't she?"

_"It's all part of the master plan…"_

            "I suppose. She goes to a lot of parties." He chose his words carefully.

            "And are you left home alone often while she is at these parties?"

            _"Yup and before she goes she tells me not to put anything in my mouth or my hand on top of the stove while it's hot…right that was the first thing on my list…"_

            "I have the house elves around and sometimes I go with her."

            "Wonderful, now about the incident; what happened exactly?"

            "Well we were all told to go and bow to those beasts (suck a degrading thing!), I bowed to mine. It bowed back; which means I could pet it. I did and it attacked me. I'll bet Hagrid told it to and Dumledore it just covering it up!"

            "That is simply awful! So what is being done?"

            "Well my Father is trying to get the hippogriff…out of there so that no one else can be hurt."

            "That must take up a lot of his time; he must be very dedicated." It didn't seem like she was paying too much attention to what she was saying.

            _"Well everyone has their hobbies…"_

            "He was fired last year as a school governor though wasn't he?"

            "Yes." This was said stiffly.

            "He was caught blackmailing and threatening fellow governors to get Dumbledore out of Hogwarts."

            _"That's sounds a little harsh, we prefer: "accidental" discovery of earlier specified information…" _

            "No comment." Skeeter decided to change course again.

            "You enjoy school?"

            _"Thrills and chills…"_

_            "What would you say your favorite class is?"_

            _"Do I need one?"_

            "Potions."

            "Your potion's teacher is your head of house correct?"

            "Yes, he should be made Deputy Headmaster rather then the Gryffindor Head of House. It's really not fair. My Father has been working on it." 

            "So Draco, you must have a lot of friends at school. Why don't you tell me something about them."

            _"They're big, strong and stupid…that's about it." Unbidden a recollection of Christmas last year flashed through his mind. ****__"Azkaban, the wizard prison!****__ Honestly Crabbe if you were any slower you'd be going backward…" That about summed it up._

            "We get along alright."

            "What about you and Harry Potter?"

            **"Pardon?"**

            "Aren't you two friends?"

            _"Best pals…as long as we never speak to each other again and transfer to different schools…"_

            "No."

            "Really?" she leaned forward more in here chair; this could be the break she was waiting for.

            "No! I would never hang around with him! He's… a Gryffindor and crazy!" Skeeter's Quick-Quotes Quill burst across the page with the most enthusiasm it had shown through out the whole conversation.

            "Could you perhaps expand?" Draco stopped for a second. This article was about **him after all, yet something in her eyes made him carry on, he knew that look. He had worn it many times himself.**

            "He was suspected of attacking students back in our second year, he hangs around with this mudblood Granger (they teachers all favor her of course that's why she gets top marks! Well…except Professor Snape.) He can talk to snakes. He's made friends with the new DADA teacher this year too. Lupin shows out right favoritism for Gryffindor too! It's **SO unfair!" Draco could feel himself getting really worked up about this. So was skeeter, her Quick-Quotes Quill was in danger of an instantaneous combustion. Unfortunately it was time for the Hogwart's students to start heading back up to the castle for dinner. So they made a date to meet again on Hogwart's ground to continue the interview. With this to pick her up, Skeeter slunk out of the bar with just as much anonymity as she had slunk in. She would be writing her Malfoy article but it might be wiser to wait until she had finally dried up the Boy-Who-Lived well of scandals first as Draco Malfoy she saw could be a wonderful ally but she would write it nonetheless. **

            Without even stopping to find Bozo she scuttled away back to her hotel to write her newest piece of her own brand of carefully worded literature.       

            **End of the Interview**

**            Next: The Draco Malfoy Article**

An: Whew! That one was my longest yet. Like I said, I really did try to keep everyone in character but you'll find that in the books, amazing as it may seem, Malfoy doesn't really have any long conversations with anyone. (Except for the short one in Book 2). So getting his character down right was a little messy. Not my funniest but I hope it at least made you smile.

            Anyway the order still stands:

**            James, Sirius, Remus and Wormtail**

**            Voldemort**

**            Lucius Malfoy**

**            Moody**

**Trelawney******

**            If you want, please feel free to tell me what you want to see!**

            **_The Reviewer_**


	4. MWPP Interview

_AN_: Oh my God! It took almost 2 months but I managed to write it ^_^ I know I said I would do the Malfoy article next but I'll wait until I've written the L Malfoy interview. Ok here it is: MWPP.

****

****

**Rita Skeeter Interviews Moony, Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail**

It was late, well no actually it wasn't; it was just very early. Rita Skeeter, Daily Prophet reporter, finally put down her quill and rubbed her eyes. The Snape fiasco had taken a little bit to straighten out but it hadn't been too bad (next time she would check for recording charms) she would just have to think of a suitable revenge. Later.  

            Exhausted she fell onto her bed and closed her eyes welcoming the silence and the dark. Her mind began to drift to happy, more carefree days; her own time at Hogwarts. Ah she had written some wonderful articles there, it had defiantly been where her career had begun…

            Young Rita Skeeter rushed through the halls of Hogwarts. It was lunch time but Miss Skeeter was not happy. Her underground newspaper (gossip column) was supposed to be out tomorrow and she had no article! It was amazing but absolutely nothing worth writing had occurred. Well since it was Hogwarts this was unlikely but she hadn't heard or seen anything that week. So now she was going to her last option: the Muruaders. 

            …and speaking of the little devils there they were. Huddled in the corner of the Great Hall at the Gryffindor table, bent over their latest creation (you almost expected lightening to strike.) Skeeter composed herself before approaching them, causally she walked up, "What'cha doin'?" As one they looked up at her and pushed the parchment out of her line of vision.

            "What do you want?" Black asked. Skeeter put on a bright smile, "An interview. I would love to hear what you're all up too. How's Quidittch James?" Potter crossed his arms.

            "I'll make your job easier: I've vowed never to fly again because of my undying love for Berti Borts every flavour beans."

"How does that work?" Remus asked cocking his head to the side. James stared straight ahead with a blank look on his face, "It's a long story." Skeeter was furiously trying to write all this down without the boys seeing (and doing a horrible job of it); they just rolled their eyes and surveyed the hall for the nearest exists. 

            "Lovely, would any of you have any comment on that?" They just stared at her. She sighed, "I didn't want to have to do this…" reaching into her crocodile skin handbag she pulled out a picture. It was a rather unflattering one of the young adolescents in front of her painting Mrs. Norris Green.

            "…now if you would just answer a few small questions I'll get rid of this…" There was a brief huddle.

            "Ok." Remus finally sighed. 

            "Lovely! Why don't we go somewhere a bit more privet to start…um…oh this way!" The boys got up and followed her, grumbling all the way. They stopped in a little hallway off to the side, the boys sat on the last few steps of a small staircase, while their captor sat in front of them, legs crossed under her. 

            "Lovely, let's see…ah Mr. Lupin, who would you consider to be the leader of this little group?" Remus gave a small smile, looking a little shy but said, "Well we don't really have a leader but often it seems to me that I am the only one with a brain. So it would appear that, that would be me."

            "The only one with a brain?! Why I outa-wait " Sirius pretended to look outraged. 

            "Actually I don't think that's all that far from the truth." Peter snickered.

            "I've already heard what Mr. Potter has to say on the subject of Quidittch but what about you Mr. Black?"

            "Please call me Bob and I would like to ask you a question. From the outside; what would your opinion be on the human race? What do **_I_ think of Quidittich? What kind of stupid ass question is that?"**

            "What about the game on Saturday? Any thoughts on the out come? You mentioned Snape."

            "No we didn't" Peter looked confused.

            "Oh?" Skeeter pretended to look surprised, "well now I am, it's understood that there is some hostility there."

            "Oh just a little" Sirius answered for all of them sarcastically.

            "Any particular reason?" Skeeter had a huge grin on her face.

            "Well you know; it's the little things that make him one big vexation." Remus replied wearily.

            "He's just a little wronger then the average flying monkey that one." James added wisely. 

            "He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death." Peter said with some viciousness that was quite frankly a little frightening. However the others could understand; Peter was a favorite target for Snape's wisecracks.  

            "He is alive, but only in the sense that he can't be legally buried." Sirius sneered, "I think you get the point."

            "So aside from Quidditich what would your favorite pastimes be?" Skeeter was getting bored of these questions quickly but she wanted to bring the boys around slowly.

            "I'd have to say making weapons of mass destruction." Remus said with a straight face.

            "By the way we're always looking for new volunteers" Peter put in, "perhaps you'd like to try it out and write an article on that."

            "That's ok," her smile was a little stiff. The boys just grinned back at her.

            "Why don't we move on to what everyone wants to know? How is your love life?"

            "Great!" this was laced with heavy sarcasm.

            "Alive."

            "None-existant."

            "No comment."

            "Well the rumor I heard was that the…ahem…_Head_ boy was getting it on with the Head Girl." James just sat there staring at her. Apparently it hadn't occurred on him that she was talking about him, (it was a bit of a secret but James had been horrified that he had been named Head Boy and thus sometimes forgot the title was his.) It was slowly dawning on him though.

……

……..

………….

            "Me and Lily?"

            "Yes"

………..

……………..

………………….

"James," Sirius asked softly.

            "So the rumors are true?"

            "Hell no! Have you ever seen her hands!? She's got claws! She'd kill me! I don't' want to die! Mental images coming hard and fast!" James was getting quite worked up by this point. It was really something to see, him going from absolutely still to heavy breathing and the occasional overdramatic hand gesture. Until… 

            "…hold me." He said putting his head on Sirius's shoulder. Skeeter's eyes were so bright that they could probably be classified as luminous. She tried to hide this from the males in front of her though by changing the focus of the conversation.

            "What about the Gryffindor stud over here?" She nodded at Sirius. There were various degrees of snorting going around the circle from his "friends". Even from James, who had managed to pretty much pull himself together by that time.

            "What?" Sirius asked his friends. 

            "Oh nothing." Remus snickered (it was truly a rather evil snicker that any Slytherin would have been proud of.)

            The boys were all recalling, rather fondly, of Sirius last weekend (Valentine's Day no less). He had waited too long and couldn't find a date so he had entertained himself and them by chasing a fly around the dorm all night. 

            "He's a real charmer." Remus elaborated.

            "He knows how to please a woman." Peter choked out.

            "Yup, when a woman says please leave he does." James laughed going starry eyed at some far off memory. 

            "What they mean is, is that I'm not with anyone steady right now." he glared at his companions. Skeeter grinned and turned her attention to Remus, "So what about you? Oh right, none-existent. Any reasons?" Remus blushed slightly, "Um…no just don't have the time and stuff." He smoothed his robe while Sirius patted him on the shoulder.

            "And no comment from the quietest member of the group?" she smiled at Peter, on anyone else this smile would have looked sweet but on Skeeter it told people to tread carefully. Peter looked at the floor.

            "No, no comment; nothing to tell really."

            "Oh come now, there must be something you could share." 

"Yeah Pete we're on the edge of our seats." Sirius grinned. Peter just shook his head. Skeeter gave a sly look over at her quill to be sure it was working properly. The words glowed a faint red for a moment before scaring the paper black:

            _"…Peter Pettigrew: seemed to be a quiet, shy boy with not much to say on his "social" life, yet this reporter's sources have discovered that after school hours this young boy turns into a sex God. Often seen visiting the local strip joints he has even been rumored to dance himself on occasion at the 99 Bottles Bar…" _

Well if he wasn't going to say anything interesting then she would have to help him along. Her interview was going to be put to a halt very soon thanks to the afternoon bell but at least she now had something to print in the Hogwart's paper. 

            "Is there anything else you would like to add?"

            "Hi Mom." Sirius said.

            "Sorry I'm afraid interrogation always brings out the worst in me." James said crossing his arms. Peter just shook his head.

            "Always eat all your potatoes." Remus said with an air of superiority. 

            "Lovely, thank you so much for your time boys."

            "It's over already! Wow time sure does fly when you're having fun." James rolled his eyes. 

            "Oh yes I enjoyed talking to you-my mind needed a rest." Sirius said smiling brightly. 

            "Ha ha," Skeeter glared at him. The boys scrambled away to wherever it was they were headed for next. Skeeter picked up the pace herself; if she didn't hurry she was going to be late for History of Magic. Normally she hated that dull class but this time she looked forward to the time it would allow her to write her article. She had a feeling it was going to be a hell of a good one…

            **End of the MWPP Interview**

AN: I regret to say that not everything here is my own. These I borrowed:

 _He is alive, but only in the sense that he can't be legally buried.  
- Geoffrey Madan _

(I love that one!)

_He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.  
- H. H. Munro_

Well that one wasn't too bad, it wasn't great but it wasn't too bad. Tell me what you think please good people. This was easier to write because we don't know their characters so…yeah. Whatever. I'm not sure when the Voldie interview will be up (grade 10 seriously cuts back on writing time -_-'). Anyway: all my love.__


	5. MWPP Article

_Author's Note_: It's here! Stop the presses it's finally here! -_- Yeah, anyway. I don't really like this very much but it's _something_ and so I'll post it and hope for the best.

_Disclaimer_: You know the drill.

**All for One and One for All**

****

            _If an anonymous explosion in the intricate halls of Hogwarts is heard no one stops to consider it since everyone knows it's probably the work of Hogwarts' own Marauders. To get the story behind this Gryffindor team your reporter, Rita Skeeter, has been following them tirelessly for the last week in an attempt to bring the truth to the surface, finally securing an interview with them only yesterday. As most readers know James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew make up this fearless foursome._

_            James Potter, Quidditch star, Head Boy and all around good guy. He is short with wild black hair and glasses hiding sparkling blue eyes. His unlikely best friend is Sirius from the nefarious Black family; they are hardly ever seen without the other and they are seen most often seen in detention. Could Mr. Black perhaps be to blame for Mr. Potter's criminal behavior? It is suspected that the Black family has turned to the new rising force known as Lord Voldemort, and is there something more to their friendship? During the interview Mr. Potter was asked if there was any romantic relationship transpiring between him and the head girl (Lily Evans). He reacted with disgust ("Hell no!")_ and turned to his friend begging "_Hold me_." Mr. Black tenderly cradled the perturbed Head Boy. Sorry ladies but it appears that he's playing for the other team. __

_As for Mr. Black he wishes to be called Bob and seems to be quite unhinged; however that doesn't stop him from having long black hair that just begs for you to run your hands through it, chocolate brown eyes that promise comfort and a model's physic. Besides his relationship with Mr. Potter and Merlin only knows who else he seems to have an unhealthy obsession with fellow student Severus Snape (Slytherin). During the interview he wouldn't stop talking about him. They say there is a very fine line between hate and love and Mr. Black walks it. Most readers know of the two student's rather torrent liaison._

_            "How is your love life? You mentioned Snape, it's understood there's some hostility there._"__

_            "Oh just a little__." If this reporter was Mr. Snape she would tread very carefully._

_            Next we have Peter Pettigrew (soft dirty blonde hair, a little chubby and shiny blue eyes): seemed to be a quiet, shy boy with not much to say on his "social" life, yet this reporter's sources have discovered that after school hours this young boy turns into a sex God. Often seen visiting the local strip joints he has even been rumored to dance himself on occasion at the 99 Bottles Bar. _

_            Lastly we have Remus Lupin. The self confessed leader and brains behind the group. Not surprising considering Mr. Potter's distraction with Mr. Black, Mr. Black's distraction with Mr. Snape and Mr. Pettigrew's lack of decorum. But what is this mysterious young man hiding? When asked about his pastimes he shockingly admitted to making and experimenting with weapons of mass destruction. One cannot take him too seriously of course but still this reporter was very nervous when he invited her to come do an article on them. As most know the school has been loosing a good few pets in the last few years; perhaps Mr. Lupin is responsible? Could his calm demeanor be just a mask to hide a much more dangerous persona? Closet animal serial killer?_

_            "How is your love life?"_

            "None-existent."

            "Any particular reason?"

            "Oh nothing," _This was followed by a truly disturbing, evil snicker_._ Possibly the first-rate members of the faculty will want to reconsider their choice in making this deranged child a prefect.  _

_            So there you have it folks the infamous Marauders. With what has been uncovered it is now little wonder why these four are second to no one in trouble making. We, as the student body, can only pray that this article has shown them the error of their ways and more importantly shown them that we are on to them.* ~ Rita Skeeter_

            As the Marauders made their way down to breakfast the next morning three of their number were not completely awake. Remus, who was surprisingly a morning person, was the only one fully conscious and so consequently was the only one to notice the stares and giggling that seemed to follow them wherever they went. Upon entering the Great Hall he broke away from his friends to talk to his Head of House before classes. He couldn't help noticing that people seemed to be getting out of his way faster than they normally would. It was unnerving, did they know? How could they? Snape hadn't been allowed to tell! He told himself to stop being silly, he was imagining things. He quickly finished his chat and made a beeline for his friends; sitting down in his usual seat. Next to him Peter was poking his food while still coaxing his eyes to completely open, he need not of put so much effort into it, a beautiful young Ravenclaw girl did it for him a second later when he tapped him on the shoulder. Women were always finding their way to this part of the table to talk to Sirius but never to Peter.

            "Hi," she said in a breathy voice.

            "…uh…ghid," she looked unfazed by his ineloquence.

            "Do you have a date for Saturday?"

            "…um…" he managed to shake his head.

            "Would you like to hang out with me?" Peter shook his head 'yes' so forcefully Remus was sure it would pop off his head.

            "It's a date then." She said before heading off down the table to meet some friends. The encounter had woken Sirius up too, who was now staring at Peter with his mouth hanging open; he had been trying to get that girl for the past week. James wasn't looking; instead he was squinting across the table at the headline on the front of someone's paper. 

            "Can I borrow that?" He didn't wait for a response and ripped it out of the person's hand his eyes quickly scanning the news; the rest of them leaning over his shoulder. A shout filled with malice consumed the hall.

**_"Why that @#%!"_**

            Which was quickly followed by, "20 points off Gryffindor Mr. Black for language!"

_Author's note: Yeah, not very funny I know. Will work on their revenge, or not, we'll see. Either way there will be a chapter sometime in the future._

            **_The Reviewer_**


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